From December 2006 Thoughts ravage and race through the labyrinth of my mind, weaving unchartable patterns that even the most seasoned veteran would be unable to navigate. Not knowing where they should go, what they should be doing and finding no exit. Only traveling for lack of something better or more productive to do. Why must they wreak such havoc without an outlet? Why must I continually deny the fact that I want to cry to the heavens? Yell out my frustration in order to actually feel, actually experience some form of emotion, instead of consciously blocking all sensory preceptors to avoid the impending hurt. Such is the plight of the tough exterior that I constantly front. Nobody really knows how I feel…or who I am. Do I even know? That is my decision, one that has taken its toll and forced me deeper into the shadows of my soul, further distancing me from the world that seeks to ease the constant confusion of everyday life. Once, as a child, I felt that the world was la
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From December 2006 As the black clouds roll across the sky, like demons chasing the glittering sun, I watch the expressions of those on the street change to grotesque grimaces in abhorrence of the inconvenience that this presents to their day. They are unable to embrace the beauty that such a day brings to the world. The ability to sit inside and not feel forced to venture into the winding streets that constantly confuse. Through sipping my coffee and trying to decipher the German-language newspaper that lies in front of me, I casually glance out the window during intervals of my misunderstanding. I notice that the street is slowing emptying under the torrents that are now pouring down. Of course there are those few individuals who brave the storm and welcome the coming downpour. It is these people whom I envy. Why are they able to dance in the rain that cleanses their souls? How are they able to forget their cares and allow their bodies to become saturated with such a gift?